is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
