lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
