This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
