gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
