mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
