I just saw a hot homeless man
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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