Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
