Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
