I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh god it's open bar.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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