my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
