Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
