on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry about my life...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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