Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
