Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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