shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
