cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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