either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
