How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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