What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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