her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
