that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
