i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
