no, he came in my armpit
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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