How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
