somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
