She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
