I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
