The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He did a backflip because drugs
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