I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
