i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
