I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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