If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
