I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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