We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Send help, water and tortillas.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
