1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
