I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
