Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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