So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize