are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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