Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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