Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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