how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I've blown a few things in my day
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
