Whod you bang
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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