You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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