And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
