he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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