Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
