I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
