Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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