my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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