Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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