The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
