so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
